How To Deal with Difficult Family Situations

We often find ourselves dealing with clients who have complicated and sensitive family situations. How those situations should be handled becomes the challenge and many people doing a Trust aren’t sure how to arrange their affairs in such situations. I’m talking about situations like...

Clients in their second or third marriage perhaps with children from previous marriages. Each spouse wants to treat their own children from a previous marriage fairly. They may even have children from their current marriage so you have a, “yours, mine, and ours” situation. It can get complicated.  Maybe one of the children hasn’t particularly endeared themselves to their step-parent. Or, the children from different marriages are unfriendly toward each other. I have mediated many a discussion with these kinds of circumstances. 

Or, spouses of a single marriage who have several children and want to be fair but feel that different children deserve more or less help than others when they are gone. Maybe one of the children needs more...such as a daughter with children doing the single parent thing and barely getting by. Parental love dictates more help in that direction than for the more independent or affluent children. Or, perhaps they have an irresponsible child who is just flaky or drinks too much or uses drugs. The parents can see the inheritance going right up that kids nose.

Some people don’t think much of their children’s spouses and want to be sure they don’t get any of their children’s inheritance if their children divorce or die. Or, maybe their child has already divorced and they want to be sure the grandchildren get an inheritance without their childs divorced ex getting their hands on the money. 

The scenarios are endless and I could go on and on but the point I want to make here is that a Living Trust is ideal for dealing with just such situations. You can design any scenario you want to accommodate any family situation. The A-B Living Trust allows married couples to divide their respective half of the estate and determine how they want to leave their share to whoever they want and how they want. 

When the first spouse dies their half of the Trust becomes irrevocable and nobody can change the wishes of the deceased spouse...not even the surviving spouse. The deceased spouse is guaranteed to have their wishes carried out under the law. 

You can leave your assets to your children or grandchildren in any way you wish. You can disinherit a child or leave their inheritance to them in small amounts spread over a number of years. You can allocate all of your assets to the education of your grandchildren and leave your children the remainder when your last grandchild graduates. You can even leave an inheritance conditioned upon an accomplishment...like going through rehab or graduating from college. What ever you can think of you can do with a Living Trust. And you can change your wishes any time without redoing the Trust...with Heritage we do it for free for the life of the trust.

All it takes is some consultation and a whole lot of honesty on your part. I find that the biggest hurdle in these situations is guilt. People often feel guilty about what they want to do. Honesty with yourself is the best approach. If your heart is in the right place you don’t need to worry about what others think. Do what you truly feel you need to do. 

If you would like to discuss similar circumstances with someone who has dealt with these situations I invite you to call me and let’s discuss it. You can call Heritage and receive consultation at no cost. The number is 888-437-8778. Remember, Heritage is in the Pacific Time Zone and closed on Fridays.